Posts tagged ‘Thoughts’

June 23, 2013

Facebook Needs a ‘Thumbs Down’ Icon

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Society has been Oprah-nized.

The new social paradigm states that we must be accepting of all and to all we must have faith that if they are number than a pounded thumb, God and a great big hug will heal them.

I say give ‘em a kick in the ass and tell ‘em to smarten the hell up.

We have to be more sensitive to the hyper-sensitive; it is our responsibility to help the irresponsible; we must be positive toward the negative; and “red is gray and yellow white.”

OH, HOW I LOVE YOU!!!   

Give me a freakin’ break, already.

Every back-asswards behavior is analyzed as an addiction, given a cute little acronym, or excused due to some historical trauma.

Back in the day the only label that was relevant was Black Label.

Squeezing into this global group hug is Facebook.

Right away you are told to “accept” some digital stranger to be a “friend.”  Your husband or wife is waiting in the bedroom for you and you’re online trading cute little kitty photos with someone who may be a member of Al-Qaeda.

I apologize to all my Al-Qaeda “friends;”  I suppose they’re capable of having an affinity for the furry little bastards.

So you are in this little Facebook community and you got the News Feed thing cranked up and all these “friends” are “sharing” some pretty lame shit.

I mean, is it necessary to let your group of “friends” know that you have to take a break because your one year-old just burped up his strained peas?  “Oh, how cute! “

Cute my ass (this is what the kid is thinking, not me).

Now, if the little shit jumps up, grabs the Gibson and rips off some Kashmir, post that sucker!

The point is that we are, as civilized members of the Facebook community, socialized to accept all “shared” communiqué from what is in some cases a list of thousands of “friends.”

Facebook protocol does not allow you to designate the posting of “friend” as being a total piece of crap. But you can push the hell out of that ‘thumbs up’ icon all day long. 

Yes, you could just fill in the comment section of the egregious post with a…few choice words, however, the social engineering behind Facebook tells us that it is not nice to diss your “friends.”

In the days of our youth, when our flesh and blood “friends” said or did something only a mother could smile at, it was quite normal to call them a dumb fuck.

Not now.  Now we just give that little fake Nancy Pelosi smile and let it stand.

It was once considered helpful, and necessary, to let your “friends” know that what they are doing could be the manifestation of incurable liberalism – no, I’m kidding, that just came so natural I had to leave it in – seriously, tough love and constructive criticism was once seen as a positive, nurturing, blessed thing to show toward a “friend.”

So if you tell me that this sucked, it’s ok, I’ll grow.

Oh Lord.

June 8, 2013

For The Lover of an Unopened Book

locked book

There you sit, one among many,
words hanging vertically on your spine.
Words that often hide
the real substance of your inner-self.
Maybe a hint,
maybe a clue,
often a riddle
to the real story.

You are chosen,
picked from the lot,
slammed into circulation of other beings
merely
by the package you wear.
That mask,
that illusory covering
that binds a hidden reality.

Often, perhaps,
Another soul,
Sensing symbiosis,
So unlike you but with a part
That yearns for a parallel reading,
looks beyond the opaque title,
beyond the aesthetic first glance,
beyond the commercially accepted,
commercially tainted you
and finds words,
words that bridge separate realms
of thought.

Words that flow together,
forming abstract sentences
from which no meaning is gleaned
until these same sentences snowball
into transparent paragraphs.
Thus revealing
a story,
a thought process,
a goal, a means to an end.

Words,
that reveal the theme of your story,
the framework of your plot,
the cause of your climax
and your eventual conclusion.

A structure so thought out,
so contrived,
so blatantly conceived
that the pages of your epic
lie in numerical sequence.

The stages of your voluminous being
are chaptered,
indexed with key words for those,
for those with a momentary purpose,
a fleeting interest.
For those without the time,
for those without the desire,
or the ability to completely know,
the rest of the story.

And yet,
still others sit,
amongst the same from whence you came.

they sit as the un-chosen.
they sit as souls unread,
as souls in un-immortalized existence,
as souls with no revised editions
on the literal horizon.

No chance to market.
no chance to reveal.
no chance to circumvent
perceptual rejection.
Shelved.

Yet they still sit,
in plain view, just as you.
Containing words that flow,
words that construct,
that construct a life,
a life born from the pen of hope,
and now lying in forlorn type.
They lie in perpetual plainness.
A paradoxical ruin.

But yet,
their spines remain clean,
their spines remain straight.
their pages of thought remain crisp,
their pages of thought remain white.
Their binding still strong,
protecting their inner-self
from indexing interlopers.

Yes,. Other still sit,
waiting,
for the lover
of an unopened book.

June 4, 2013

How To Have Sex With A Horse

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The point is that we far too often make choices based on the scantiest of logic or knowledge. Would you have clicked on this post if it had the title, “How To Title Your Posts?”

We far too often judge a book by its cover, leap before we look, measure once and cut twice, and put the cart before the metaphorical horse.  We end up stepping in horseshit and are then surprised and disappointed that the results are not what we desired.

We far too often act against our own best interests while shunning responsibility and assigning blame.  We need to hear more people say, “Boy, was I dumbass for doing that!”  The folks at Campbell’s – the soup guys – had it right with their marketing of V8 Juice – “I could of had a V8!”

I suppose this is all ok as long as we alone suffered a minimum of discomfort, like sitting in your own wet shorts; as long as no great harm came to anyone or ourselves and if no one else was responsible for picking up after our momentary lapse of reason.  This is not always the case.

Often, the negative consequences of our backasswards decision making are not evident until some point in the future; which, I suppose, brings up the question that if some one was ignorant enough to have made the decision in the first place, may they then also be too ignorant to realize the future damage when it slaps them aside the coconut?

Definitely, but this is often as much of a case of ignorance as it is a case of denial.  When reality raises its thrill-killing head we usually issue the standard wide-eyed, mouth-hanging-open expression of, “What?!”  Or, if you are D.B. Cooper jumping from a plane: “Oh, shit!”

We get there because we like what looks good, feels good, sounds good, and because some twit at the bar said it was good.  We say “to hell with tomorrow and hurray for today;” but, my friends, morning comes early.

Nobody likes to look stupid, but most of us are.

The End – phew; got through that without once making mention of the people who voted for Obama.

May 13, 2013

LIFE WITHOUT THE INTERNET

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I’m not talking about 20-25 years ago, I’m talking about this morning!

Mondays are (ostensibly) my day off and I like to get out early in the morning and hit the coffee shop du jour – or de la semaine in this case – and read the morning news via various iPad apps while drinking way too much coffee (no wonder I’m so jacked up over the day’s news).

This morning I chose to grace a version of Starbucks that is found in West Hartford, CT.  I say ‘version’ because each Starbucks store is different; each has its own ambiance, aura, style, and each will fire the writing and thinking neurons in different ways – a sort of spacial muse.

This particular West Hartford barrister training ground is found in West Hartford center, where along with the Blue Back Square area of the town is, for the average guy from Maine, quite fu-fu.  Thus, when the hanging bells on the door ring it is usually to announce the arrival of high heels or suits, soon followed by the calling out of some coffee drink that takes a half-minute to say.  At any rate, one would expect this particular Starbucks location to be at the top of their game; full of experienced and efficient barristers, clean bathrooms, a bakery display sans the fruit flies, easy chairs that do not make you itch, and fully functioning internet (it is the 21st century after all).

Everything was great except for the latter of these requirements needed to enjoy my simple morning pleasure.

Imagine my horror (I heard someone in West Hartford say that) when after firing up the old iPad, I discovered that the store’s internet connection was on the fritz.  My God!  Would I have to buy a newspaper; the New York Times, or worse, the once popular and credible USA Today?!!  Where will I get news of the fresh blame placed on Republicans by President Obama?!  More importantly (so it seems), how will I know what’s in store for this week’s American Idol finale?!!

There was actually someone at a table across the room who was reading a book…a real book, with a cover and a spine, not one of those ‘e’ things.

I wasn’t able to go into my Yahoo Mail account and delete all the spam emails that had collected overnight, which seem to be attracted to Yahoo like dust to a Swifter.  I don’t play games, electronic or otherwise, so that element of the internet wasn’t an issue.

However, time had not completely reverted back to the time of the Commodore64.  Thanks to the iPad and a clever little app called, “Offline Reader,” which I had, over the past few weeks, ignored copyright laws and loaded with news and opinions pieces culled from the web, I was able to have my morning dose of skewed reality reading.

After nearly 2 hours, I went to have breakfast and then home for a nap – let’s see them come up with an app for that!  The way in which we do some things will never change.

So, where would you be if tomorrow morning you were met with a total internet blackout, mobile and otherwise?  And, taken a step further, a total loss of cell phone usage?  Would you stop on your way work to a use a pay phone in order to call one of your 349 “friends” to tell them what silly thing your pet did that morning?  How would you make up for the loss of being able to tweet about what a twit some celebrity is according to what you last saw on Entertainment Tonight?

I have to go and charge the battery to my iPad.