Posts tagged ‘Dunkin Donuts’

October 13, 2013

LIfe Decisions at Dunkin’ Donuts

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Dr. Phil says that there are 7 decisions which we make during our lives that determine whether we will be wintering in Aruba or spending it in Hartford, Connecticut collecting returnable bottles in a discarded shopping cart.  I made the decision not to navigate his site looking for an explanation of the ‘Big 7,’ but I wondered how it could be narrowed down to just seven.  I mean, it couldn’t be the same for everyone; not all of us will have to decide whether to stay home and use the Ouija Board with crazy Mary or go to Ford’s Theatre.  And, if you are aware of what the ‘Big 7’ are and you know that you just went all-in on number 7, does that mean that all future decisions you make will not have life altering effects?  That could be cool.

But anyhoo, I’m quite sure that one of Dr. Phil’s ‘Big 7’ is not going into a Dunkin’ Donuts and ordering a dozen donuts.  You wouldn’t feel this way, however, if you took note of how some people handle this process.

In most Dunkin’ Donuts store I’ve gone into, there are (yes, I’ve counted – field study) approximately 15-17 different donut types on display (without the fruit flies that appear to prefer “la boulange” at Starbucks.).

Now, just for review in the chance that you are on the negative side of the education gap, in most cases there are 12 donuts in a dozen.

So you are choosing 12 out of a possible 15-17 options.

Despite the limited options people enter this process like it demands some sort of critical intelligence.  They put more thought in which 12 donuts will make it into the box than they do in choosing a candidate for President.  They give their order with more pauses and “aahs” than a Ted Kennedy speech.

“Oh my God, what if I do not like some of the options, which ones do I double up on?”  Aaahhhhhhh!!!!  They look around feverishly for a Democrat to tell them what the best choice for them to make is.

This is not Powerball; you do not win a prize if you pick the correct combination of donuts.

This could be a game show:  “Would you like the prize behind the Bavarian Kreme or what lies behind the Double Chocolate Cake donut?  You have 10 seconds!”

Just tell the light-on-the-English clerk to throw 12 of the damn things in a box and drag your fat ass back to your mini-van!  Unless you are in your mini-van and you are making this order through the drive-through window, in which case the customer behind you ought to be allowed to destroy you and your vehicle with a rocket propelled grenade.

And remember, there is probably a customer behind you that would just like to get a coffee and get out of there…and it’s probably me!