Archive for June, 2013

June 28, 2013

GAY DIVORCE

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After all, gay couples are equal to straight couples, right?

America once had a problem with the issue of divorce.  Now, we’re pretty good at it.  No problem.  Nearly half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce.

Into this melodrama enters gay couples, giving Gloria Allred type people a whole new line of legal work.

Susan Sommer, a Lambda Legal director, has already fired another shot in the battle of gay rights.  Sommer told the Wall Street Journal (“Same-sex Divorce Stats Lag”) that as far as gay couples getting divorced, there is “no reason to deprive them of this really important right.”  Sommer claims that states will not grant divorces to gay couples hitched in another state.  Some gay marriage supporters claim that the reason gay couples should be allowed to marry is so that they can get divorced (loveandpride.com).

You know you have really arrived at the level of equal rights when you have the right to divorce.  Similarly, when gay married couples in Kentucky start appearing on episodes of COPS beating on each other, you’ll know that change and equality has come to America.

Perhaps data will not be collected for gay divorces as noisy civil rights type people complain that it stigmatizes a minority group in the population.

The Wall Street Journal article says that worldwide statistics for gay divorce are very limited, even in countries that have allowed gay marriage for quite some time.  The tracking record in the United States is even weaker, obviously.  According to the Journal article, most often, in any divorce, the genders of the parties involved in a divorce are not recorded. A lesbian couple in Oklahoma was granted a divorce; the divorce was ruled void when it was discovered that the couple were of the same sex (marriageequality.org).  So, gathering that data will take some research.

And look at that, Esther Rothblum, San Diego State University professor and her crew have received a $1.2 million dollar grant from the federal government (was this stimulus money?) to see how those gay couples that tied the civil knot in Vermont in 2000 and 2001 are doing today compared with their straight friends who coupled at the same time.

I’m sure the long running television show Divorce Court is mining the field trying to get their first gay divorce.

June 23, 2013

Facebook Needs a ‘Thumbs Down’ Icon

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Society has been Oprah-nized.

The new social paradigm states that we must be accepting of all and to all we must have faith that if they are number than a pounded thumb, God and a great big hug will heal them.

I say give ‘em a kick in the ass and tell ‘em to smarten the hell up.

We have to be more sensitive to the hyper-sensitive; it is our responsibility to help the irresponsible; we must be positive toward the negative; and “red is gray and yellow white.”

OH, HOW I LOVE YOU!!!   

Give me a freakin’ break, already.

Every back-asswards behavior is analyzed as an addiction, given a cute little acronym, or excused due to some historical trauma.

Back in the day the only label that was relevant was Black Label.

Squeezing into this global group hug is Facebook.

Right away you are told to “accept” some digital stranger to be a “friend.”  Your husband or wife is waiting in the bedroom for you and you’re online trading cute little kitty photos with someone who may be a member of Al-Qaeda.

I apologize to all my Al-Qaeda “friends;”  I suppose they’re capable of having an affinity for the furry little bastards.

So you are in this little Facebook community and you got the News Feed thing cranked up and all these “friends” are “sharing” some pretty lame shit.

I mean, is it necessary to let your group of “friends” know that you have to take a break because your one year-old just burped up his strained peas?  “Oh, how cute! “

Cute my ass (this is what the kid is thinking, not me).

Now, if the little shit jumps up, grabs the Gibson and rips off some Kashmir, post that sucker!

The point is that we are, as civilized members of the Facebook community, socialized to accept all “shared” communiqué from what is in some cases a list of thousands of “friends.”

Facebook protocol does not allow you to designate the posting of “friend” as being a total piece of crap. But you can push the hell out of that ‘thumbs up’ icon all day long. 

Yes, you could just fill in the comment section of the egregious post with a…few choice words, however, the social engineering behind Facebook tells us that it is not nice to diss your “friends.”

In the days of our youth, when our flesh and blood “friends” said or did something only a mother could smile at, it was quite normal to call them a dumb fuck.

Not now.  Now we just give that little fake Nancy Pelosi smile and let it stand.

It was once considered helpful, and necessary, to let your “friends” know that what they are doing could be the manifestation of incurable liberalism – no, I’m kidding, that just came so natural I had to leave it in – seriously, tough love and constructive criticism was once seen as a positive, nurturing, blessed thing to show toward a “friend.”

So if you tell me that this sucked, it’s ok, I’ll grow.

Oh Lord.

June 16, 2013

THE WORLD LEADER IN NEWS

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After clearing the sleep from my brain with water, coffee, and a smoke, a weekend morning begins with a scan of the morning news headlines.  Gone are the days when we had to trudge out to the front stoop in our bunny slippers to retrieve a newspaper (I wonder if child labor laws had a hand in the disappearance of the paper boy).  In this century we merely have to fire up the desktop, laptop, ipad, or even our iphones, and while still in our designer undies, we have ready access to all the news (all the time).

Back in the day we had to try and wrestle individual sections of the newspaper from other members of the family; whether it be the news section, comics, or sports section, everyone had their priority news or entertainment interests.  Today, we have the option to customize the type of news and information that will greet us as we wake up and boot up.  I’m sure email and Facebook are the world leaders for how we greet the day, but here we are concerned with the point (if at all) when people look to see how tepid reality is playing out.

With no disrespect to the various news aggregators that litter the cyber universe (I use these during the week), I often look at individual news sites to glance at what their feature stories are for the morning.  Now these are dedicated news sites, the pros, the biggies, the sites that Walter Cronkite’s ghost might load into his browser.

So what did this morning’s trek over the news terrain reveal?

CBSNEWS marqueed a story on Nelson Mandela and his current grave – well, not quite grave – medical condition.

ABC NEWS featured a story on how the Syria Crisis will “Top” the G-8 summit agenda – I think each leader there has their own agenda and there are 8 different issues that top these agendas.

FOXNEWS.com topped its news agenda this morning with a story on how North Korea is proposing more talks with the U.S.  – but this is a story that can be rerun every month and still be considered relevant.

The HUFFINGTON POST  had a massive masthead that read: “INSIDE THE GOVERNMENT’S MASSIVE SYPING MACHINE.”  Ok, that is important and relevant, and I’m sure biased and forgiving to the current administration – bookmarked to later prove myself right…and correct.

USA TODAY, probably the worst hardcopy newspaper available on the national stage (and I don’t blame this criticism just on the fact that they include commentary by DeWayne Wickham), spotlighted on their web page a story on how the federal government will make larger profits on their handling of student loans than such companies as ExxonMobile and Apple made last year in their ordinary course of business.

Naturally, the LA TIMES website feature a story on the “equality” cases that litter the Supreme Court’s docket.

The WASHINGTON POST featured a pair of stories on the government’s ongoing Orwellian practices – and to think I criticized Obama for not listening to the people when he cloaked America in ObamaCare.

The NEW YORK TIMES offered up at their website a leading story that talked about the architects and cultivators of America’s current spy infrastructure – a story who’s timeline conveniently ends in 2007.

Seizing the moment like no other, NBCNEWS (through an MSNBC link) led off their page with a story on how fathers are doing more housework and childcare than their fathers did in the 1960s – which I’m sure is a result of more of today’s fathers being unemployed compared to their fathers in the 1960s.

Ok, now all criticisms aside, these are mostly relevant and important news stories coming from the leaders considered by those who consider such things  to be professional news organizations.

But what about the one that claims to be THE WORLD LEADER in news, CNN?

CNN’s lead story was headlined this way: “Is Superman’s story Jesus’ story?”

Are you shittin’ me?!

June 8, 2013

For The Lover of an Unopened Book

locked book

There you sit, one among many,
words hanging vertically on your spine.
Words that often hide
the real substance of your inner-self.
Maybe a hint,
maybe a clue,
often a riddle
to the real story.

You are chosen,
picked from the lot,
slammed into circulation of other beings
merely
by the package you wear.
That mask,
that illusory covering
that binds a hidden reality.

Often, perhaps,
Another soul,
Sensing symbiosis,
So unlike you but with a part
That yearns for a parallel reading,
looks beyond the opaque title,
beyond the aesthetic first glance,
beyond the commercially accepted,
commercially tainted you
and finds words,
words that bridge separate realms
of thought.

Words that flow together,
forming abstract sentences
from which no meaning is gleaned
until these same sentences snowball
into transparent paragraphs.
Thus revealing
a story,
a thought process,
a goal, a means to an end.

Words,
that reveal the theme of your story,
the framework of your plot,
the cause of your climax
and your eventual conclusion.

A structure so thought out,
so contrived,
so blatantly conceived
that the pages of your epic
lie in numerical sequence.

The stages of your voluminous being
are chaptered,
indexed with key words for those,
for those with a momentary purpose,
a fleeting interest.
For those without the time,
for those without the desire,
or the ability to completely know,
the rest of the story.

And yet,
still others sit,
amongst the same from whence you came.

they sit as the un-chosen.
they sit as souls unread,
as souls in un-immortalized existence,
as souls with no revised editions
on the literal horizon.

No chance to market.
no chance to reveal.
no chance to circumvent
perceptual rejection.
Shelved.

Yet they still sit,
in plain view, just as you.
Containing words that flow,
words that construct,
that construct a life,
a life born from the pen of hope,
and now lying in forlorn type.
They lie in perpetual plainness.
A paradoxical ruin.

But yet,
their spines remain clean,
their spines remain straight.
their pages of thought remain crisp,
their pages of thought remain white.
Their binding still strong,
protecting their inner-self
from indexing interlopers.

Yes,. Other still sit,
waiting,
for the lover
of an unopened book.

June 4, 2013

How To Have Sex With A Horse

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The point is that we far too often make choices based on the scantiest of logic or knowledge. Would you have clicked on this post if it had the title, “How To Title Your Posts?”

We far too often judge a book by its cover, leap before we look, measure once and cut twice, and put the cart before the metaphorical horse.  We end up stepping in horseshit and are then surprised and disappointed that the results are not what we desired.

We far too often act against our own best interests while shunning responsibility and assigning blame.  We need to hear more people say, “Boy, was I dumbass for doing that!”  The folks at Campbell’s – the soup guys – had it right with their marketing of V8 Juice – “I could of had a V8!”

I suppose this is all ok as long as we alone suffered a minimum of discomfort, like sitting in your own wet shorts; as long as no great harm came to anyone or ourselves and if no one else was responsible for picking up after our momentary lapse of reason.  This is not always the case.

Often, the negative consequences of our backasswards decision making are not evident until some point in the future; which, I suppose, brings up the question that if some one was ignorant enough to have made the decision in the first place, may they then also be too ignorant to realize the future damage when it slaps them aside the coconut?

Definitely, but this is often as much of a case of ignorance as it is a case of denial.  When reality raises its thrill-killing head we usually issue the standard wide-eyed, mouth-hanging-open expression of, “What?!”  Or, if you are D.B. Cooper jumping from a plane: “Oh, shit!”

We get there because we like what looks good, feels good, sounds good, and because some twit at the bar said it was good.  We say “to hell with tomorrow and hurray for today;” but, my friends, morning comes early.

Nobody likes to look stupid, but most of us are.

The End – phew; got through that without once making mention of the people who voted for Obama.